the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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