from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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