it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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