how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize