Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize