I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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