we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I need water and some morals
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
