I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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