youre lurking in front of me
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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