So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
