what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Is it penis luge time yet?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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