they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
