so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
