Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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