Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
