Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
