that's an acceptable place to lick
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
