dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
