He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
