Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
