eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
