I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
