Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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