Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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