like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
