Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
where are you?
Hypothermia
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
