I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
