my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
well you can't waste a boner
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize