we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
