i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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