You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he fucked my hip out of place.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
