Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Randomize
