Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
