I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
