What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
