I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
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