Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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