he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
