Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
