I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
