im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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