Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
