I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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