Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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