Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
