Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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