fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
