Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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