The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
