My liver just broke up with me...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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