What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
