just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize