so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
