i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
