this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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